“Oh, Herm.” Emily fell into his arms. He hugged her hard enough to crush several ribs. It sounded like a bag of chips stuffed under a mattress.
“My darling. I’ve missed you so.” Herm beamed as she stomped on his bare foot, driving her stiletto heel all the way to the floor.
“Not as much as I’ve missed you.” Emily nuzzled his shoulder. He stroked her hair and dug his thumb into her left eye socket, twisting and gouging until he’d worked the bloody orb loose. He ground it under his heel.
Herm led her to the kitchen. “I’ve been saving this for your return. I never imagined it would be so soon.”
He poured two glasses of champagne and proceeded to bash her with the bottle until her face was a mass of bloody pulp.
“I couldn’t stand to be without you another minute.” She rammed a butcher knife into his lower abdomen, jerked upward and stepped aside as his intestines fell out, slopping on the floor.
“What about your job?” Herm asked, driving a ten-inch long spike into her head.
“I told them I’d quit if I had to, but I had to come home and see you.”
She smiled, kissing him gently and tearing large chunks of flesh from his face and upper body with her teeth.
“I’m glad you did.” He tore her arm off and bludgeoned her with it. “Its so good to have you back.”
He ripped out her still beating heart and flung it on the ground. The dog carried it into a corner and gnawed it. He drew her close. She emptied a can of turpentine over his head and lit it. They melted into each other’s arms. Her gaze locked with his.
“I’m so glad we’re together again.”